This is a random content generator for the Firefly/Serenity universe (‘Verse).
Howdy! If'n you wanna completely random settlement for yer boat to land,
this hear do-dad loads up a random set of colorful descriptions. It don't save yer data,
though, on accounta this here is a free Cortex terminal access node. But it does copy-paste
right purdy, so I recommend y'all do that. Now, mind you, it ain't done all buttons & dials
neither, little Albatross. I ain't used all th' math in the 'Verse, rocket sciencey style
on this one, so it can seem a mite silly if'n ya take too close t' lookin'. But if ya don't
like what comes, jus' give it the ol' Cortext terminal a whack. We made it easy t' tweak some:
reboot Cortext: Is everything wrong
(I mean, b'sides life in general)? Well, just hit this button and it'll all be right as
rain! Get a whole new everything from the name, planet, biome, economy...I mean everything
(except the dern Cortex terminal that is. Gotta read th' fine print, ya greenhorn!)
get new planet/moon: Since it's a free
randomizer, you get what you pay for. Now, if'n yer absolutely sure that ain't no moon but
one a them there 'space stations' y'all kin jus' ignore this part.
get new name: Wish you could name a
place after yer own self? Well, ya can't. But maybe there's a statue mad a' mud in
some other little crappy town gots yer likeness. 'Til then, jus' hit his button an' y'all
kin at least get somethin' a little less crappy fer a town name.
new biome: So, y'all like th' economy
(below) sayin' this here down does lots a' cuttin' down timber, but here it say they all live on
some volcanic plain? See, this is why I don' trust technology none. But we all seem
t' wanna keep usin', so just press this button an' we'll all jus' ignore th' glitches fer
now. On th' off chance this here is one a them asteroids or relay stations, reckon this
means what some idjit engineered t' be like on th' inside. (Hey, don't blame me. I
didn't put no jungle inside yer gorram habitat. Y'all better talk t' yer guy, Bester.)
new feature: Speakin' a' technology,
prob'ly th' worst is terraformin'. Now, contrary to what them so-called talented Hollywood
directors might think, ain't no magical process. Got plenty a' bugs t'it. Y'all can try
fixin' it here. See? Jus' like magic!
new census: Whatta ya mean there ain't
a million folks on Ida? Oh, right.
new culture: The 'Verse is a real mash
a'folk. An', hey, 'culture' ain't same as 'race' so you kin jus' get that
notion outta yer noggin' right now. What means here by 'culture' is highly dependent on
what them folk mean by it. Some downright odd or unsavory results could show up. Hey,
we don't judge none here. But on occassion, y'all might run into folk who do judge,
so proceed with caution. (By th' by, how is it you always seem t' end up in an
Alliance-friendly bar on U-Day?)
new economy: If'n only the Ministry a'
Finance had it this easy. Careful whatcha wish fer, though. This re-does th' whole
economy, primary, secondary, an' that third one. That so-called 'Service Sector' is all
th' extra bits don't fit right into th' main economies. Like haircuts an' dog walkin'
an' Good Dogs when that whole dog walkin' part don' quite work out.
new authority: This is who th' local
law calls 'boss'. In th' Core, usually (but not always) Alliance gov'ment. Further out,
could still be come a' them enclaves a' Indpendent folk. Looks is deceivin', though. Jus'
like a no good, low down dirty...uh...deceiver! So if'n y'all think an update is in order, this
is where ya do it. Us folk who ain't been yet'd appreciate it, right kindly.
new attitude: Are ya lookin' good from
yer head to yer shoes? Know where yer goin' and y'all know what to do? Well, then, click there fer
yer new attitude! This here is how th' local
law enforcement might be to you and yours. But if'n yer folk git in trouble, that's on you.
Don't shoot the sheriff...or the messanger, y'hear? dong ma?
new history: How'd this here town come
t'be? If it don' seem right, jus' give th' old Cortex a whack here an' it'll come t' pass.
Thanks for stoppin' by! Take care, now, dong ma?
— Shaudawn
